Saturday, December 31, 2005

I Need Your Help

Ok. So my mom basically gave me cash for Christmas. Not cuz she isn't thoughtful, but because I had no idea what I wanted. So I've now decided I'm going to get a White Sox jersey. My problem is this...I don't know who's. I'm afraid actually. I kind of have this curse with baseball jerseys and stuff. Whenever I get one of my favorite player's jersey they are inevitably shipped off unexpectedly. (Take for instance this season when I got myself an Aaron Rowand 33 Tshirt jersey. He now will be playing centerfield for the Phillies.)

So I'm scared. So I thought I would just get one with Fornelli on the back, but there are problems there too. See the numbers I would want would be either 3 for my birth
day, but that's Harold Baines' number, and it's retired. Then I go with 13 which was my number all throughout Little League, but it's also Ozzie Guillen's number. My final one would be 56 as just my favorite football number (Whenever I create myself in Madden I am ALWAYS Tom Fornelli Middle Linebacker #56) but Buehrle has it.

What is a Sox fan to do!? I was thinking I could go with an all time great, but the jerseys have a World Series patch on them. So it doesn't make much sense to get Carlton Fisk-72, or Robin Ventura-23 when neither were on the World Series team.

I've kind of narrowed it down to a few choices. They are Buehrle-56, Konerko-14, Crede-24 or Pierszynski-12. What do you do knowing the history surrounding me and these things?

Help me help myself.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Movin On

Well tomorrow morning I have an appointment with Andrea of Homestead apartments. I am going to be looking at one of their one bedrooms. The idea of moving kind of just came as a whim. Ya I've wanted to for a while, but my mind has a tendency to change focus quickly. So I decided to go into this full blast so I get it done before a shiny object goes blowing by in the wind and I get distracted again. I've already seen the place online, and just want to see it in person. Make sure it's up to the Fornelli Standard. (Meaning the walls aren't covered in feces, and there are no rotting corpses in the tub.) I used to hate the idea of living alone for some reason, and now I can hardly wait for it. I'm just looking at this as the next chapter in my life, like maybe I'm finally starting to grow up. (Shudder.)

I've already promised the boys free beer and pizza in exchange for their physical labor should I take the apartment. The good news is the one I'm looking at is on the first floor, so we won't have to deal with the "Hey this couch wasn't too heavy on the 2nd floor" situations. Isn't that really what it's all about? Getting something good accomplished with the least amount of effort possible? I mean if that last sentence doesn't say America I don't know what does.

I'm also going to be putting some self imposed deadlines on myself for my sports column. Maybe force myself to sit down and write something twice a week. Though in order to do this I'm going to have to give it more of a local flavor. I'm thinking that if I do 2 a week, one could be Chicago based, and the other national. That way I can keep everybody interested, and not have to do too much work. (Theres that formula again!!) I mean I could crap out 5 great columns a week if they were all Chicago based cuz I do that in my head every second of the day anyway. When I'm sitting at work and my boss is explaining to me how he wants something of vital importance to be done the only thing I can hear is myself thinking "Dude, if the Seahawks lose in the playoffs before the NFC championship, and it's distinctly possible, then the Bears can easily cakewalk into the Super Bowl. Once they get there, even if they face the Colts we all saw what the Chargers did to Manning. I mean if they can chase him around like a toddler after a petrified housecat imagine what the Bears defense could do to him." Meanwhile visions of a Super Bowl trophy dance in my head.

Of course all this could just be cuz it's the end of the year, and for some reason we all think we have to change everything and anything about our lives at this time. I don't know. Only time will tell I guess.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,
Tom Fornelli

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Hello There

Hi. Christmas was good. Enjoyed spending time with the family, and watching the Bears win. It's a good combination, then you throw in good ass food, and well you get good times. It's true, if you don't believe me try it at home.

I got one of my Christmas gifts to myself in the mail today. Here it is.

It's by Bill Simmons. He's a sports columnist on's Page 2, and in ESPN the Magazine. I enjoy his work very much, and he's somewhat of an inspiration in my own sports column. (If you don't know about it the link is over on the right of the page. It's called The Way I See It) Anyway the book is about the Red Sox winning the World Series a few years ago, and his own personal journey in the years leading up to it, and just his entire life in general. I would have bought this book and read it eventually just cuz I like Simmons so much, but with the White Sox winning the Series this year I can relate even more. So far I haven't really been able to put it down since I started. Simmons and I are very much alike except for location and rooting interest. Anyway, I kind of want to read the thing some more right now, and I will as soon as I finish typing the next sentence, and do the whole Keepin it...etc at the end. I hope Christmas was good for all of you too.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,


Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Division Champs

" Please stay another year Mr. Favre. All players need players like you around to help pad our stats!"

Hope you all had a good Christmas. I know I did.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas

I shan't be around tomorrow, so I'll tell you all now. Merry Christmas. I hope you all get what you wanted this year. Well not domination is too much to ask for. I hope he gets a nice peaceful sweater or something.
Oh and Happy Birthday Jesus.

"Thanks Bro!"
The J-Man

Friday, December 23, 2005

Nun Chucks

The only ball to ever get that close to her face.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Funny Story from Work

Not much to say today, but there's a story I want to tell. I was at work, and I was talking to Vic and Anthony. Anthony is a college student who is back from school for break. He worked here before he left, and he's grabbing a few hours while he's in town. Anyway he was telling Vic and I a story about his friend. I may be a lil off, but even if it's not an exact quote, it's close enough.

"In high school, a friend of mine's father came home and told him he had gotten him a job for the Romano Brothers ( A liquor distributor) and he had to take a drug test the next day. Well he had just smoked some weed the night before, so he needed to do something to hide it. Another friend of ours told him to sneak some bleach in a condom and poor it in his urine sample. So like he did. But you know they check you before you go in, so he had to hide it. So he stuck it in his ass, well not IN his ass, but in his ass so he could pull it out while peeing unnoticed. Well he was sitting in the chair waiting for his turn and he felt this burning in his ass. The bleach had broken through the condom, and completely burned a hole in his boxers and jeans. So like he failed the drug test and his dad totally kicked his ass."

Now it gets good.

"So anyway, he want's me to ask you guys if we're hiring."

Anthony is a Marketing Major by the way. Me and Vic burst into tears laughing so hard.

Keeping It Real Since 1980,

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Life Returning To Normal

Well this week marks the final 7 days of Hell Month at work. I can't wait til Christmas!! I say that every year, but usually cuz I want my presents. Not anymore. I just want my life back. Thankfully this week John is back from his vacation and my schedule is back to normal again. Plus I get both Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day off this year, which is nice. Then the week of New Year's I get a 4 day weekend. I guess it's my Boss' gift to me. Though a better gift would be not making me come in at 10AM on New Year's Day!! I think I work every New Year's Day. I have no idea why, seeing how I am everything BUT productive on that day. Tired..check. Hungover...check. Moody...check. Nauseous...check. Productive.................

Spent both Friday and Saturday night at work, so not much to talk about from my weekend. Sunday was fun though.

The Bears got back to playing like the Bears after an off game against Pittsburgh. Good Lord was it cold out. It was announced to be 7 below 0 thanks to the windchill. Me thinks it effected the Falcons a touch bit more than us. Think about how intimidating it is, to walk into a stadium of 54,000 people that hate you. Plus its 7 below, so you're already cold and uncomfortable. Then when they announce the temperature in the stadium, all 54,000 of those people stand up and start cheering. You could literally read Mike Vick's "Fuck this." mentality in his body language. He tried at first, but you could just tell after a while all the Falcons wanted to do was go home. The greatest thing about when these two teams play is that half the time, the two fastest people on the field are a 260 pound Middle Linebacker, and a Quarterback. Well once again the Middle Linebacker PWNED the QB. Cold weather is hitting weather, and the Bears defense didn't disappoint. All you could hear the whole night was CRACK! Not only did the Bears beat them on the scoreboard, they just beat them up. It was great to watch.

Monday I worked my first morning shift since November I think. I was dead tired cuz my sleep schedule has been so messed up by working the late shift for a month. I couldn't fall asleep til around 4AM and my alarm was going off at 7AM to get to work. All the yawning and aloofness left my body the second I stepped outside into the 4 degree weather. That wakes you up fast. After work I went and played poker with my Dad and his buddies, and made $10.

Other than that, not too much to report. I have to go to work in a few hours. Tuesday's are usually the slowest easy night of the week, but those nights don't exist during Hell Month. Hopefully nobody will die. I make no promises though.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Back On The Horse

How many of you thought I meant heroin? Can't get back on something you never rode. Anyway..... I used to write lyrics/poems all the time. I started around age 16 and continued doing so on a regular basis until about a year ago. I finally sat down and wrote something tonight. I would have to call it a poem at this point, even though I have music in my head that it's set too. I wouldn't call it complete yet, cuz it has no chorus or anything. I just couldn't come up with anything for it. Maybe one of you can help. (Eyes shoot to Kevin, Marty, and Silvio.) You don't have to obviously, but if you're bored and feel like doin something creative go for it. Anyway here it is. Hope you like it.

Makes Me Happy

I walk this street
Dark narrow road
I feel safe
I feel alone
Under my feet
The crunch of snow
And in my face
A harsh wind blows
Without a care
I breathe this air
It makes me happy

As its verve
Fills my ears
The music soothes
It calms my fears
What I learn
What I hear
Helps me move
Through these years
I don’t care
If you aren’t there
It makes me happy

As I return
To my room
To the black box
And it’s flourescent gloom
How I yearn
To see you soon
This room’s a pox
This room’s my tomb
But I don’t care
Cuz you are there
You make me happy

I want to know
Your hands on mine
I want to sink
Into your eyes
So start the show
Dim the light
Kiss your cheek
And say good night
Without a care
Since you are there
You make me happy

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Sim Baseball

A guy I work with told me about this simulated baseball league he is in. It's run through, and the premise is like fantasy baseball. The main difference is any player from any season in the history of baseball (since 1883 I think) is eligible. Your team gets put into a 24 team league, and you play a 162 schedule. You get an 80 million salary cap, and pick your team. Here is mine, I'm not assigned to a league yet. You'll probably notice a theme with most of my team.

Starting Lineup

OF Scott Podsednik 2005
2B Nellie Fox 1960
1B Frank Thomas 1993
OF Mickey Mantle 1960
OF Ron Kittle 1983
3B Ron Santo 1973
C A.J. Pierzynski 2005
SS Ozzie Smith 1982

3b Joe Crede 2005
OF Vince Coleman 1991
SS Ozzie Guillen 1986
OF Billy Conigliaro 1973
OF Andruw Jones 1996

Starting Rotation
  1. Bob Gibson 1970
  2. Mark Buehrle 2005
  3. Curt Schilling 1995
  4. Pedro Martinez 1993


  1. Jack McDowell 1987 (Also a 5th starter when needed)
  2. Cliff Politte 2005
  3. Neal Cotts 2005
  4. Billy Wagner 2000
  5. Bobby Jenks 2005

So anyway, I take this team and manage it against the rest of the league. It seems like it would be really fun to have a private league of this. It's only $13 a team, which I don't think would be hard for me to convince people to spend. It's just I need to find 24 people willing to do it. If you would be interested please email me at or leave a comment here with your email address. Thanks.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,


Tuesday, December 13, 2005

I Don't Have To Shower Today!

Finally a day in which I don't have to go to work. Feels good. How about those Bears on Sunday? Did they get their ass kicked or what? That game wasn't fun to watch at all. Next week's game will be huge for a lot of reasons. First one being that we lost this week, and need to rebound. The other reasons are Minnesota won, so our lead is down to 1 game. The Vikings get Pittsburgh this week so hopefully the Steelers do to them what they did to us. Also it's against Atlanta, and Mike Vick. Vick hurt his ribs last night against the Saints so lets hope he stays hurt! Plus the game is on Sunday Night Football on ESPN. It's national television. These are the games where if you want to be respected as a team you have to perform. Plus its December. It's playoff time. Luckily for us the Panthers also lost on Sunday so we keep the #2 Ranking in the NFC. This still gives us a first round bye if we win out. Home field advantage doesn't look possible thanks to Seattle winning this week.

Ok, ok, enough football. This is my blog, not the Bears. The problem is that since I have been working so damn much, I haven't had time to do anything else. The highlight of my last 6 days was watching football. Also while I'm at work, I get these great ideas of things I want to write about, it's just that by the time I plant my ass in this chair I don't remember them.

I do know I'm a bit disappointed cuz there are 2 parties on Saturday night, and I can go to neither of them. I have to work Saturday night. Saranya is having a party at her place, and there will be cookies!!! Home baked. Hell technically if I could go I would have to make cookies of my own. Though even if I didn't bake my own, I don't think Saranya would kick me out of the party. Also on Saturday night Joey Mac, and Susan are having a joint birthday party thing. (Why do all my friends have joint parties?) It's one of those pay $20 at the door and drink whatever the hell you want for 3 or 4 hours. Those things are usually an amazing time for me. There is no limit on how much I can drink given 3 hours. Let's
just say that the $20 is not going to cover it. I'm surprised bars can offer these kinds of deals, especially when it involves my friends. We see it as a challenge, not a party. Like the bar has insulted us saying we can only drink $20 of liquor in 180 minutes. We adopt that "We'll show them!!" philosophy, and proceed to drink whiskey and tequila straight from the bottle. I remember at one of these things Kevin and I had Jack and Coke races. The premise being we would both get a Jack and Coke at the same time and race to see who could down theirs fastest. After we drank one, we'd order two more and start again. I remember that night ending up with me insanely drunk, and Kevin puking in Silvio's then brand new car. Kevin doesn't puke much, but when he does, it's always entertaining. Whether he's projecting it 15 feet (I seen it with me own eyes.) or spewing it out of a brand new Toyota's passenger side door doin 65MPH on the Kennedy Expressway, I always seem to laugh. I won most of those races, but Kevin won the war that night.

So I have about 85% of my Christmas shopping done. I still want to get one more thing for my mom, but I just don't know what yet. I also have to decide what it is I want for Christmas still. I hate shopping, and that lends itself to my psuedo hate of Christmas. (I hate every day before Christmas, but never seem to mind all the gifts I get.)

Am I the only one who notices how bad TV sucks? Apart from a few shows I watch, the rest of it is crap. I saw a commercial the other day for some new show. It's about washed up former celebrities learning to ice skate. Don't worry though, I hear they are currently shooting a Simple Life 4!! (Sarcasm. Don't want ANY confusion.)

I love my iPod.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Saturday, December 10, 2005

All Sorts of Stuff

Damn women drivers!!

For those not from the Chicago area who are wondering. Yes, that is an intersection. Yes, that is a Southwest Airlines Boeing parked in it. Thursday night at Midway Airport a plane skidded off of the runway, broke through all the barriers, and went sliding out onto Central Avenue at 55th. 17 people were pretty badly hurt and 1 small child died. Nobody on the plane was hurt. If a kid hadn't died I'd probably be having a lot more fun with this. Nobody is sure whether it was ice on the runway or pilot error as of yet. For the sake of the pilot I hope there was ice on the runway, cuz if not he's in a heap of trouble. That's a crazy picture though.

Been working for what seems like all day everyday for a while. I would have posted something, but it just feels like everything I have to say I'm saying to either Marcus and Vic at work, or Panger on the phone. So by the time I get home I'm too tired to want to go through it all over again. I can promise you you are missing some wonderful things. (Like the fact that water is really just clear oil and that George Bush is planning on invading the Atlantic Ocean anyday now.) I also tested a theory I heard (but did not believe myself) with Marcus that any black man who is a Republican has abandoned his race. Marcus (he's black) said that was a bunch of bullshit. In fact he said, "Any black man voting for some cracker he doesn't know makes him a sell out to his race. I don't care what party he is." He was joking, but he still thinks that theory I heard was BS.

I was asked last night what I want for Christmas. It suddenly dawned on me that I don't have a clue what I want for Christmas. I got my parents a new washer and dryer for it. (Technically my Father ordered it but it's understood between my Mother and I that I shall be paying for it.) The washing machine broke the other day, and the dryer was near its last load too. So early Christmas gift. I'll probably get them something smaller too so they have something on Christmas. I also have no clue what the hell to get my sister. Now I have to think of what I want. I hate Christmas now. It was a hell of a lot better when I was 8 cuz I didn't have to do anything. I remember they would have like Christmas shopping at school. It was just a bunch of crap that each classroom would get a chance to go visit the "store" inside the school and buy some piece of crap for your parents. It was easy. All I had to do was spend $2 (that was my mom's anyway) on something while I was already at school, which I had to be at anyway. Then Christmas break would start and I could sleep all day, and play with my friends. Oh and I had to wake up on Christmas morning and open gifts. Hard life that was. My sister is the toughest person to shop for. She likes clothes. She doesn't like my taste in clothes. This is where the problems start. God Bless Gift Cards. That's where the problems end, sort of. I always get her a gift card, so, I would kind of like to do something different. I think that's where Ms. Silvia will come into play. Still I have to think of something I want. I may just tell my mom to get me a gift certificate to Best Buy. That way I'll have more time to figure out what I want. Thank God I don't buy my friends shit. Well shots, and beer when we're at the bar, but that's different cuz it's not like I'm not getting one for myself too.

I have to go to work again soon. I'm going into the 4th of 6 consecutive days in which I'm working the 4PM to midnight shift. (Thursday through Monday.) I'm also in a streak where I'm workin 13 straight 4-midnight shifts. If it wasn't for the 8 inches of snow I've had to shovel the last few days I probably wouldn't remember what the sun looked like. I have a strong notion that work is one of the main contributors to me hating Christmas these days. I don't remember what my friends look like anymore. Thank God I posted all their pictures on here a few weeks ago so I can go check.

On the health front I am officially 100% again. Ok, I cut up a knuckle a few days ago and it's annoying me. So I'm only 99.999% healthy, but I'm a firm believer in rounding up.

The Bears have a big game tomorrow. The Seahawks aren't likely to lose to San Francisco so they have to keep the pace. It's gonna be tough playing in Pittsburgh. Yes the Steelers have lost 3 in a row, but that doesn't mean much really. They still have a solid defense, and showed last week they can score. Meanwhile we have to be the first 9-3 team in NFL history with a QB controversy. As far as where I stand on that issue it's tough. Orton has QB'd this team to 9-3 (Ya the defense has led the team, not Orton.) and won 8 in a row. Hard to pull him, but he isn't playing very well, and if this team is going to do anything in the playoffs we NEED some kind of offensive output. Now Rex Grossman, our original starter before he got hurt in preseason, is healthy and ready to play. My main argument against putting him in is that Orton isn't losing games for us, and what exactly has Grossman ever done in the NFL? I like Rex, but he hasn't ever done anything spectacular. All he seems to do is get hurt. It's a tough spot for the team to be in. I think before it's all said and done though that Brian Urlacher will be playing QB and throwing TD's to Nathan Vasher. Another good thing is that even though Thomas Jones seems to be slowing down, Adrian Peterson is tearing it up when he's in, and Cedric Benson should be ready in a few weeks too. So the running game isn't going anywhere.

Also to my fellow Korn fan friends, if you haven't bought the new album yet, don't. Save your money. I'll burn you a copy if you want it, but I suggest keeping your $13 for something useful. Like a pitcher of beer.

I promise I'll try harder to update more in the next few days.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,


Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Feelin A Lot Better

Nice picture.

Well lets see. Not much happening since Thursday. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were all spent at work. Good times. Sunday morning wasn't too bad though. The Bears finally beat the Packers, 19-7. We finally got to beat up on Favre, and as a result we won. Next week is no easy game though, at Pittsburgh. Probably be 13 points scored in that game. Seattle won so they still have best record and home field. We can't afford to lose next week if we want homefield advantage in the playoffs, which would be huge. Playing at home in January would be a large advantage for the Bears, and their style of play.

Seems Dr. Spratford was right. My sinus infection seems to be done for. No more headaches at least. It's nice not having a headache all the time. Thanks Doc.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Thursday, December 01, 2005

This Just Has To Be Posted

Saw it on another website and had to share it with you, my adoring public.

Image hosted by

"Opposable thumbs? Me no need no stinking opposable thumbs!!"

Turn Your Head and Cough

Went to the doctor today. Good news is I'm gonna live. Bad news is my head doesn't hurt because I'm too smart. It's just a sinus infection. Sigh. Dr. Spratford told me that the infection was just about to get into my lungs, which would not have been good. He gave me a prescription for some antibiotics, and a couple of over the counter things he told me to pick up. He also assured me that I should be 100% by Sunday. That's awesome. It does absolutely nothing for the huge headache I have right now, but there is hope. Besides going to the doctor and getting my prescription filled I haven't done shit today but rest and recuperate. I discovered that I have the NFL Network On Demand which is just freaking awesome.

I don't get the NFL Network itself, but I can watch like 15 minute recaps of every game from the week before. Also I get a lot of special Bears only content. Like I watched an NFL Films Documentary on the 85 Season, and another on Walter Payton. Speaking of sports documentary/yearbooks....

Today's Boner
Brought to you by

I got my White Sox DVD!! I watched it last night. If you're a White Sox fan this is basically a must have. It made me smile a lot while watching it. Also on the inside they advertise that they're going to be releasing all of the Sox' World Series games on DVD in like March. I already know I'm gonna buy that too. It was kinda sad watching Aaron Rowand in the DVD since he was just traded last week. It seems that every year the Sox always lose one of my favorite players. Of course Paul Konerko just re-signed yesterday for 5 years and $60 Million. (That works out to about $2 Million a year less than I make.) So while watching my DVD last night I also felt good about the fact that thinking the White Sox will do it again next year is not only a possibility, but likely now. With Konerko, Thome, and Dye in the middle of your lineup, and guys like Crede, A.J., Iguchi, and Podsednik around them you are gonna score your fair share of runs. Plus we still have fantastic pitching. Well even though I know I could go on about the White Sox for at least 52 more paragraphs I'll spare you all. We'll move onto the final portion of today's entry.

Quote of the Day
"Quitting smoking is the absolute worst thing you could do for your health."
-Dr. Eric Spratford

I should clarify that with the next sentence he said, "At first anyway." When I told him how I quit smoking a few months ago, and had been getting sick ever since he informed me it's common. The immune system gets so "tough" from dealing with all the smoking, that when you stop it has to re adapt to normal conditions, and is in a weakened condition for a while. Of course I asked him if instead of paying him for seeing me, and then paying for a prescription, if I would be better off running to the gas station and buying a pack of Marlboro Lights. Don't worry, I didn't mean it. I quit smoking and I don't miss it in the slightest. Ok sometimes at work I wish I still smoked so I could take all those smoke breaks. But other than that I don't miss it at all. The extra cash in my pocket at the end of each week is a nice bonus too.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,