Friday, August 18, 2006

Nine Things I've Thought About This Week

1. If one more person drops out of the Full Tilt Forum fantasy football league just a few weeks before the draft I will fucking kill somebody. In the last three days I've lost three people-ARay, Skortch, and now Hrbek. Aaron actually warned me a few weeks ago, it just now became official. Skortch and Hrbek are on the temporary Keepin It Real Shit List. I've never made public the temporary list, cuz it's temporary so I have a hard time remembering who's on it. Yes, I know that makes the whole thing pretty fucking pointless, but I didn't ask for you're fuckin thoughts did I?

2. I hate people who tell you what they think when you don't give a fuck about what they think.

3. I would like to eat dinner off of Jessica Biel's ass.

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4. With all the talk about possibly adding 3 planets to our solar system, and all the fighting on this one....maybe we should change the name of Uranus to Ouranus. It's just more inclusive and something we can all share. Can't you just picture Israel and Hezbollah getting along afterwards? "Hey, maybe the Holy Land is yours, maybe its ours. All that really matters is we'll always have Ouranus."

5. It's embarassing enough that I've never been cool enough to blow smoke rings, even though I smoked for like 8 fucking years. It's even worse when a couple of my non smoking friends can do it no problem. Then Mount Etna has to go and kick me while I'm down.

6. I want to bounce up and down on Lindsay Lohan's breasts from one to the other for hours on end until I get tired and fall asleep between them. I also love the fact that she never seems to care that people with cameras are following her around all the time.

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7. I really need to write a post explaining to people the difference between being an asshole and being a douchebag. A lot of people seem to get the two confused.

8. I saw a t-shirt today that said "Stewart/Colbert 08" and I finally had an urge to register to vote.

9. Everybody's making a big deal about Snakes on a Plane, but I have a movie that would be a billion times better. It's a cross of SOAP, Titanic, and Bram Stoker's Dracula. It's called Vampire Sea Spiders on a Boat. Say it with me everybody! "GET THESE MUTHAFUCKIN VAMPIRE SEA SPIDERS OFF THIS MUTHAFUCKIN BOAT!!"

8 comments:

Artemis said...

fornelli-
Thanks for the link.
And that IS a rather scrumptious picture of Jessica Biel...

Anonymous said...

Let me tell you what I think...




I'm pry on permanent shit list, aren't I?



P.S. I think I'd rather watch your movie than skanks on a plane....oooh skanks on a plane....

Fornelli said...

Artemis-You're welcome, and yes I do believe Ms. Biel's attention to doing squat thrusts should be a lesson to the rest of you ladies. She worked hard for that ass!!

Zooks-I can't remember.

steeler247 said...

you could pry have a dinner out of whatever came OUT of Jessica Biel's arse.

pry.

Anonymous said...

#2

(and no, not the steeler variety, the list)

Hrbek said...

#3

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... how about 9 things I HAVEN'T DONE since August 18th....

Fornelli said...

Pry a post coming on Monday Zooks.

Nice try at anonymity though.