Through the Fog

Kevin's birthday was on Saturday. He had a party in his own honor. At the party they had beer. I drank a lot of it.

As a result my memories are a tad bit hazy, though I can happily report that I have no broken bones or bruises.

I do believe that there is some sort of magic force field around the Bullseye on Kevin, Marty, and Bryan's dart board. I was playing cricket against Greg and Jeff, and completely dominating them.

That is until I had to hit bullseyes. Then I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. It's odd too, cuz generally bullseyes are one of my strenghts. So in every game we played, I jumped out to a huge lead only to see it crumble and wither away as I flung wildly at the center of the board.

Of course after Jeff finished me off, I would hit double bullseyes.

What

the

fuck?

Besides beer there were other things at the party.

There were sad soldiers















Piggyback rides for the Birthday Boy
















And finally, the most special of events

A Half Naked Texan
















I had never seen a half naked Texan before, and well, my quality of life is a slight bit lower now that I have.

***************

I say a lot of stupid things. Every once in a while though I strike gold, and proceed to not only amuse the hell out of myself, but others. This was one of those moments.

Greg and I were at work last night trying to figure out just why Panger would want to watch the Tour de France. Seriously, who the hell gets excited about watching people ride a bike for days on end? Aren't the National Lawnmower Championships on? At least there the prospect of seeing someone lose a toe looms.

Anyway back to the conversation.

GREG:Maybe it's the tight spandex suits they wear. Maybe she thinks they're hot.

ME:I guess. I can just picture her, "Look at the way his package shifts with each peddle of the bike! What grace!"

GREG:(laughs)

ME:It's like his thighs are playing a tennis match!

I amuse the hell out of myself.

***************

Major League Baseball announced the All Stars yesterday. As part of the whole gig though they save a spot for fans to vote on who the final player to represent each league will be. Apparently the fact that the fans continually fuck up voting for the starters on a yearly basis hasn't become visible to MLB yet. (Mark Loretta!?)

Anyway, one of the five candidates to be the final player on the American League roster is Chicago White Sox catcher AJ Pierzynski.

AJ deserves to be an All Star for reasons that statistics alone cannot prove. So please join me in my own personal campaign(Ok the White Sox too) to vote AJ onto the American League All Star team. (As far as the National League, vote for whoever you want, though I think Nomar is the logical choice SEEING HOW HE LEADS THE LEAGUE IN HITTING)

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Tom