As she sat in front of the dressing room mirror preparing for her next routine at Big Floppy’s Olive cried, as was her custom.
"Why Popeye? Why?"
Her former lover, Popeye, had died three years earlier from brain cancer. The cancer was believed to have been caused by Popeye’s years and years of steroid abuse.
That wasn’t spinach in those cans.
Left alone with their daughter, Sweet Pea, Olive quickly fell into the big hairy arms of Bluto. The relationship lasted for only 9 months as Olive Oyl tired of the physical abuse. It seemed Bluto missed fighting with Popeye, and decided to take it out on Olive. After running away one afternoon and filing a Restraining Order, Olive found herself at a crossroads.
She had no job, no education, and no prospects. Just a hungry baby who missed her daddy. Then one day while eating at a local Cartoon Soup Kitchen she met Big Floppy. Big Floppy was a large, human, man that liked to hang out at the soup kitchen looking for potential dancers for his club. Even though Cartoons weren’t easily accepted into human culture and society, there were many men with a fetish for finally getting to see the women they grew up watching naked. Jessica Rabbit worked at Floppy’s place for years, and to this day was the most popular dancer in the clubs history. She eventually left to start her own place, a strip club/brothel in Amsterdam she called Bunny Rears.
Big Floppy could see in Olive’s body language that she was desperate, and he swooped in like a hawk. After a few minutes of small talk he asked her how she felt about possibly working at his club.
"Strip?! Are you kidding me? No thanks Mr. Floppy, I’m not gonna let my baby have a stripper for a mother."
"Well what else are you going to do? You gonna eat in shitty little soup kitchens for the rest of your life? Is that how you want your baby to live?"
Olive shot Big an icy stare.
"All right Olive, listen. There’s good money in dancing. You wouldn’t believe how many men there are in this city who willingly hand over their paychecks just to see some titty shaken in their face. Don’t you want some of that money?"
"I’m not a cheap whore Mr. Floppy. I am a good mother and I will not resort to such awful means."
"So a good mother lets her child starve? Just come to the club one time, if you don’t like it, leave and I’ll never bother you again. I’m offering you an oppertunity to better your life. Nobody is saying you’ll have to strip for the rest of your life, but it would be a very good way to keep that little girl there fed, and keep a roof over her head until something did come along."
A week and a half later, on a Wednesday night, Olive Oyl walked into Big Floppy’s. On her first night alone she made $250. Surprisingly she found herself enjoying all the attention that the men gave her while she danced, and the money they stuffed down her g-string didn’t hurt either.
Olive Oyl was hooked.
Now here she was, a year later and the gloss had started to wear off of the stripper life. Crying in front of her mirror had become routine. She never imagined that she would still be here a year later, but she hadn’t been able to find a job outside of Big Floppy’s that could pay her as well. Sweet Pea was enrolled in an expensive private school cuz Olive wanted to make sure her child got the education she never had.
"Ok Olive. Time to fake it." she muttered to herself.
"Olive," yelled Big Floppy from around the corner, "C’mon sweetheart, smile and get ready to shake those titties. You’re on."
She slowly stood up and walked towards the stage. As she rounded the corner she could hear her music starting, and was blinded by the stage lights now shining onto her.
*************
Sitting in the back corner of Big Floppy’s, Toucan Sam and KAM drank from their beer bottles.
"Christ KAM. What a fucking day huh?"
KAM just nodded.
"I’m having a hard time figuring this one out. Looking at the stab wounds it seems as though a child, or a midget killed that women. How? There had to be more than one right?"
"Oh yeah."
"This is a big one kiddo. This could be the case that puts us on the map for good. We cannot fuck this one up."
"Oh yeah."
"You ever wish you could say something besides ‘Oh yeah’?"
"OH yeah."
Sam smiled. "Hey I’m gonna go talk to Floppy and see if he has any ‘Sugar’ for sale."
With that Sam got up from the table and walked over to Floppy behind the bar. KAM focused his attention on the skinny women dangling from the pole. She had long been one of KAM’s favorite dancers, but due to his shy nature and embarrassment over his limited vocabulary, KAM never approached her. He never even got a lap dance, or tipped her. Instead he just watched from a distance.
There were a few unfamiliar faces in the club tonight, and KAM sensed they were a little unsavory. They had been yelling some unflattering things at the dancers all night, but KAM just let it slide. After all, he didn’t work there, and he had enough on his mind already.
One of the men got up from his seat and walked to the stage where Olive was dancing, with his cheeseburger in hand.
"Hey honey!! I got something better than money for you. Why don’t you eat this cheeseburger? Get some meat on those bones!"
Olive just smiled and went on with her routine.
The man then grabbed Olive’s leg, "C’mon baby, take the burger. I mean I’ve fucked fingers fatter than you!!"
"Let go of me asshole!"
It was then that KAM instinctively leapt from his chair and made a beeline towards Olive’s assailant. Without warning KAM grabbed the man from the back of his neck and flung him clear across the club, a good 15 feet, into an empty table. KAM then went towards the guy and pounced on him.
Head butt after head butt after head butt until the man was unconscious. His friends had now gotten up to attack KAM.
Toucan Sam was in Floppy’s office snorting a few lines of his newly purchased "sugar" when he and Floppy heard the commotion outside.
"Oh now what the fuck is going on out there?!" asked Floppy.
"We better go find out."
When they reached the floor they saw KAM on top of the man pounding away.
"Get off him you overgrown punch bowl!!!" yelled Floppy.
"I got it Big." responded Sam.
Sam flew over just as the man’s posse was reaching KAM and pulled out his badge.
"I don’t think you fellas are gonna want to do that," said Sam dryly "I have a gun on my hip, and for some reason I’m feeling a bit jumpy. Don’t make me do something stupid."
The men backed down as Floppy’s bouncers picked up the unconscious man on the floor and escorted his friends out the door.
"Kool-Aid Man! Sam!! My office. NOW!" yelled Big Floppy."
The two officers walked into Floppy’s office as he slammed the door behind the three of them.
"You two motherfuckers better stop pulling this shit in my club. I’m tired of having to clean up after you assholes all the time. It seems like everytime you guys show up you cost me money. One more incident like this and you’re both banned from my establishment."
"Oh really?" asked Sam, "Well if that were to happen I may just have to let the Chief know about some of the things that go on here. The drug dealing, the prostitution, fuck, the health code violations alone would be enough to get you shut down."
"You’re not exactly innocen....."
Sam’s cell phone rang.
"Well Floppy, we’re gonna have to finish this conversation some other time. C’mon KAM. We got another body."
With that the two Cartoon cops headed out of Big Floppy’s, not sure just what they were about to find.
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