Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Drink With The White Sox!

I was reading over on Deadspin yesterday, when I was inspired. They had a post entitled Get Drunk with ESPN that outlined the rules for a drinking game while watching Pardon the Interruption with Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon.

It got me thinking, what if I created a drinking game for White Sox fans while watching their favorite team play!?

So I did.

Bust out the shot glasses, and grab a case or two Sox fans. It's time to get hammered.

WHEN TO TAKE A DRINK

  • Everytime Hawk says "Can o Corn"
  • Everytime Hawk says "Cinch it up and hunker down"
  • Everytime Hawk says "In between" as in "AJ is in between right now, and has no idea what to expect."
  • Everytime Hawk mentions that the opposing pitcher is getting a strike zone much larger than the current White Sox hurler.
  • Everytime Brian Anderson strikes out.
  • Everytime Tadahito Iguchi gets that "are you fucking kidding me?" look after an umpires call.
  • Everytime Hawk says "Suck it up Joe!"
  • Everytime DJ asks Hawk a question, and is answered with silence.
  • Everytime Hawk or DJ say "Thats a hang wiffum right there."
  • Everytime Jermaine Dye makes a spectacular catch going back on a ball in right field.
  • Everytime AJ Pierzynski swings at a first pitch.
  • Everytime a White Sox pitcher sets the opponents down 1-2-3.
  • Everytime the White Sox turn a double play.
  • Everytime Hawk says "C'mon stretch! Get back there!"
  • Everytime Hawk says "Maddabattacola." Ya, I'm not sure what the hell that's from either, but it means a shattered bat.
  • Everytime Pablo Ozuna gets on base.


WHEN TO TAKE A SHOT

  • Everytime the White Sox hit a home run.
  • Everytime Hawk mentions Yaz or Catfish Hunter.
  • Everytime Jim Thome takes advantage of the infield shift and pokes a single into left field.
  • Everytime Ozzie gets ejected.
  • Everytime Javier Vazquez gives up at least 3 runs in an inning.
  • Everytime the Sox fail to execute a bunt.
  • Everytime Bobby Jenks gets a save.
  • Everytime Rob Mackowiak beats a throw to second base on a ground ball.
  • Everytime Chris Widger or Ross Gload get a hit.
  • Everytime Scott Podsednik steals a base.

WHEN TO CHUG AN ENTIRE BEER

  • Everytime the White Sox hit a grand slam.
  • Everytime a White Sox pitcher strikes out the side.
  • Everytime the White Sox win.


Warning:Tom Fornelli is not responsible for any cases of alcohol poisoning. Also if played correctly(And by correctly I mean you're taking a shot of whiskey, not Pucker. If you're drinking Pucker go watch a Cubs game, Sally.) you probably won't remember much that happens after the 4th inning.

If you have any other suggestions to add to the list, tell me in the comments section. If not, drink up and Go Sox!

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Tom

Dictated But Not Read By at

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maddabattacola, as you referred, is a really Matt Abattacola, executive producer for the Boers and Bernstein show on 670 the Score. Since Hawk has been a regular on the Score, he has somehow tied Matt's name into meaning a broken bat. There was an explanation, but I can't remember... I'm such a failure. This is just for your info. Even though this will say Anonymous, I will reveal my true identity as the one and only Mr. Sweet Booty!!

4:30 PM
Fornelli said...

Thank you Sweet Booty.

I pry should have known that, but alas I don't listen to Boers and Bernstein that much.

4:37 PM
Anonymous said...

i think you should have to chug a beer when hawk remains silent for a half an inning, like the other day during the yanks series, in the 5th inning, not one word, that should merit a chug

3:06 PM

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