Thursday, May 11, 2006

A Friendly Wager and a Brilliant Idea

So yesterday I went on a little bit about how horrible the Cubs are playing right now. As I went through the rest of my day I got a funny little idea.

I began to offer a friendly wager to my Cub fan friends and coworkers. The basis of the wager was this: The total number of runs scored by the Cubs in the month of May vs. The total number of RBI of Jim Thome and Joe Crede combined.

In other words, will the Cubs entire team score more runs than 2 players on the White Sox knock in on their own.

9 guys against 2.

None of the Cub fans I asked would take the bet.

A few asked me what the total up to yesterday was, and I had no idea. The idea came to me on my way to work and I didn't have time to actually look it up, but I had a feeling that at the moment it was pretty close.

Still the important thing I noticed was the loss of faith the Cub fans had for their team. Historically win or lose (more losing obviously. That's not a dig either, its the same for Sox fans too.) Cub fans have always believed in their team, and supported them. It seems that the combination of a White Sox World Series and the broken wrist of Derrek Lee has finally started to break through such resolve.

Even Silvio, the biggest Cub fan I know said,
"I watch soccer now." He was joking, NOBODY
watches soccer, but the sentiment rang true.

Finally after I asked 8 Cub fans, I finally found one with enough courage to accept the bet. (Keep in mind that the wager is for a mere $5. That's right, Cub fans aren't even willing to risk $5 on their team.)

Panger took the bet,
"on principle alone." Keep in mind she knows what she's up against too. After all she has admittedly watched more Sox games this season than Cubs games.

Of course I wasn't surprised later when Vic called me at work and said,
"I wish I had taken that damn bet cuz the Cubs are up 8-1 right now." When I got home and watched the White Sox game I'd recorded I found out that neither Crede nor Thome
knocked in a run Wednesday.

So immediately after I find someone to take the bet, the Cubs jump out to a 8-0 lead for the day.

"Well it WAS close," I thought. I then got onto the computer to look up the numbers for the month of May.

Guess what? Even after a large 8-0 score for Panger on Wednesday, I STILL LEAD.

It really has been a shitty month for the Cubs. Through May 10th 2006, the score stands at:
  1. Jim Thome (13) and Joe Crede (9)=22
  2. Chicago Cubs=19

Based on how the Cubs offense has been playing, I figure that after scoring 8 last night they aren't due to score again until May 18th. Jim and Joe should widen the gap in that span.

While we're on the subject, the White Sox got the crap beat out of them last night. After young Charlie Haeger got knocked around to the tune of 6 runs, the White Sox came back from a 6-0 deficit to make it 6-5. Then the Angels scored 6 more in the top of the 9th, and the final score was 12-5.

Everybody gets the crap kicked out of them sometimes.

A funny little conversation I had with a customer at work yesterday.

Woman:Do you have any Sunday papers?

Me:No, sorry.

Woman:Why not?

Me: (pause) It's Wednesday?

You know part of being brilliant is coming up with brilliant ideas. One such idea came to me at work. A car hit another car in the parking lot, and I got to thinking about car insurance claims at accidents.

Like a cop shows up and one person says it's the other's fault, and the other says it's that one person's fault.

Then it goes to the insurance companies who have to figure all of this out, and who has to pay for what, etc.

In the long run it ends up costing everybody a lot of money.

I figured out a way to save that money. Instead of using the judicial system to help clear things up I think that the two principle drivers fight it out in the ring.

The loser's insurance pays.

Wait, there's more. See this is America, and in America ideas are worthless if we don't find a way to exploit them for money.

So what I figured is that court shows are very popular daytime television fare. So why not have a weekly show on local networks in which they televise the fights? Every week could have the Main Event that involves a Battle Royal among the drivers in that massive 8 car pileup on the expressway.

I mean are you telling me this is a show Maury Povich WOULDN'T host?

You know you would watch at least.


Boxing matches aren't all won via the knockout. After the allotted time allowed for the fight (due to commercial breaks) both competitors may still be standing.

Thats where you come in. The television public would vote on the winner. Like American Idol.

Of course as I said all of these shows would have to be local, so viewers in New York can't vote on the LA fights. (Not until we get a contract with satellite television company anyway. Then all bets are off.)


Keepin It Real Since 1980,


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