Monday, November 21, 2005

Random Randomness


Well Marty Mac demanded photos, and he's going to get photos. I present to you, ladies and gentlemen of the interweb, my friends! In picture form!!!

There's BillyB!!! Don't be fooled by this picture as BillyB is a very attractive man. Why if I wasn't completely straight I would have sex with him at the drop of a hat. I might still! BillyB is the eldest of two boys in his family. Twenty-five years old, he enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and anal penetration. Give him a chance and he will surely offend you with one of his many off the cuff observations about your overall "Suckitude."


What a horrible picture. Next we will move on to the Irish portion of our segment. We shall start with the Senior Drunk, I mea
n Irishman, Kevin. Kevin is a man of many talents. Unfortunately for him nobody knows what they are yet. He is one of my most accomplished drinking buddies. He is also a White Sox fan. A very rare feat in this group of friends of mine. He also introduced me to an entire new scope of music I probably would have never found. So I guess I owe him a thank you. Keep waiting bitch, cuz I ain't saying it. Here you can see Kevin in his natural state. Beer in hand and look of confusion on face.

Next we will move on to Kevin's younger brothers Marty and Joey Joe Joe. Joe, or Tiger, is the older of the two, but the most pre-pubescent looking. What he lacks in weight and pubic hair though Joseph more than makes up for with humor. One of the funniest people I know Joe is always quick to fire off an amusing anecdote about absolutely nothing. He has that Stephen Colbert-like ability to make the most mundane intricacies of life seem abs
olutely hilarious. Did you know that Joe has a very large and black hair on his torso named Shaq? There's a $5 bounty on it. He also is not afraid to sit on your lap and molest you while you are trying to put the moves on that girl you're interested in. Joe is in the middle of three on this pic. He is flanked by Marty and Kevin.

Marty is the artist. A singer/songwriter/origamist Marty also has what it takes with the ladies. He has seen more fem
ale ass than most public ladies room toilets. Also like everybody else in his family Marty is incredibly funny. He also stands up for what he believes in and is not afraid of anyone or anything.
In fact I once saw Marty take on an entire fraternity cuz they were discriminatory against Italians and fat chicks. Being an Italian myself I've always respected and appreciated his efforts in helping my kind be accepted by the mainstream culture here in America. Here's a picture of Marty fighting crime. Notice him letting evil know what they're in for by covertly flipping the bird.


Next we move onto The Leemer aka Kaleemula aka Loco Katie aka Kaleem Nazir. What is there to say about The Leemer? The Leemer moved here to America a few years ago in pursuit of a dream. A successful camel racer back in Pakistan, Kaleem craved the competition of an unknown frontier. This passion for competition led him here to America. Unfortunately on the voyage here Kaleems prize racing camel, Spitty, died of herpes. Yes I know what you're thinking. "Herpes isn't fatal." No it isnt, in humans. However it is the number one killer of camels, just ahead of suicide bombings. Devestated by the loss, but determined The Leemer forged on. Camel racing is yet to catch on here in America, but Kaleem is hopeful. To pass the time The Leemer spends his days sleeping on couches
of other family's and eating all their food. When not sleeping on your couch, or eating your food he can generally be found shitting on your toilet, or having sex with an underage girl in your bed. The Leemer however is one of the most hospitable people I have ever known as evidenced by this photo. He's never one to turn down a request and will always help out a friend in need. No matter the personal cost or danger involved. A true friend in every sense of the word.

Finally we're going to move on to my friend and fellow Italian Silvio. Whether you're callin him Dago, or Sly DelVecchio he's always willing to tell you you're wrong. He is also probably the hardest worker in the bunch. He would probably be the first to tell you that he may not be the "smartest" of the group, but yet he has gone farther in school than any of u
s, and with better grades. As if that weren't enough he could beat the crap out of all of us. When not fighting with his girlfriend, or immensely enjoying his own farts he can be found on stage somewhere playing bass in his band Carrion Rogue. Silvio is also considered the wise sage by many in the group. It's well known that when facing a problem Silvio is the one you seek counsel from. As if he didn't have enough on his plate as a Grad student/Rock Star/Life Guru Silvio also recently confided in me his newest dream. To be the Italian Michael Flatley. I have no doubt that with his sheer will and determination Silvio will be Pasta Dancing around the world in no time.

Ok now that we're done with that we will get back to our regularly scheduled programming. I really didn't do much at all today. Played some poker. If you want to read about that go to my poker blog. I also wrote a sports column and if you want to read that you can go to my column. The links to both are over there on the right of the page.

Also if you remember from my last entry I bitched about the Bears getting no respect. Well sure enough I'm watching Monday Night Countdown on ESPN tonight when this came up. Stuart Scott was asking the three analysts, Tom Jackson, Michael Irvin, and Ron Jaworski, if teams could make it to the Super Bowl. He asked if the Bears could. Jackson said yes, but he had said yes to every team cuz he felt it would be ridiculous to say any team couldn't at this point. (Well of the teams they asked about.) Irvin and Jaworski said no way. The next team they asked about was the Carolina Panthers. All three said yes. Maybe I took the brown acid again but I swear I just saw the Bears manhandle the Carolina Panthers yesterday.

The History Channel could be the most addicting channel ever. I watch it all the freaking time. Even when it's about stuff I was never interested in before. I kid you not I watched 4 hours of programming the other night about Alaska. The place looks beautiful, and I'd kinda like to visit but the History Channel as assured me it would mean certain death. Right now is a show talking about the Battle of Britain in World War II.

My sinuses are starting to bother me again so I guess I'm gonna have to start takin the Claritin again. Oh well. I'm just now realizing I missed watching the Daily Show writing this entry and am very angry at myself.

Thanksgiving is this week and I shall be working from 9-5. Afterwards my Dad will be cooking dinner so I will be eating with the family. I have thought about barging in on the McCahill's Thanksgiving dinner, but I don't think I will for fear I will be crucified on their blog after.

I really have absolutely nothing else to say. Of course if you've read this entire entry your thinking I never had anything to say to begin with. You'd be right too.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,
Tom

5 comments:

A Lesser Grace said...

Hell yeah.
-thats all I got
- Meg

Fornelli said...

Word.

marty said...

you couldn't find a more flattering picture of me? nobody is going to believe i'm a ladies man with that pose.

Fornelli said...

Gimme a few minutes and it can be done.

I just recently stumbled upon pics of you at halloween.

marty said...

i like it