Tuesday, November 22, 2005

He Has A Lot of Nothing To Say

Hey I really have nothing to say at all today, I just feel I owe you something. Today was officially the first day of the Hell Month at work. People getting ready for Thanksgiving making it next to impossible to get a god damn thing done. Like for instance the group of about 6 people who decided to make an already crowded aisle more crowded by talking for 25 minutes. Meanwhile they blocked the entire aisle. At one point one girl said to another "My God it's like no matter where we move we're in somebody's way here!" The thought to, I don't know, MOVE never occured to them however. People! Man, they are stupid. I'm home now though and away from the madness. So I'm going to stop talking about it. I don't want my free time to be infested. How are you anyway? That's great/too bad.

I've cooked up a couple of new features for this blog that I'm going to start experimenting with tonight. The first one of these is called Today's Boner. It goes a little something like this.

Todays Boner brought to you by

System of a Down's newest album, Hypnotize, came out today. I have already listened to it twice. It's the follow up to this summer's Mezmerize and is the bands 5th release. I truly love this band. I mean they could fart into a microphone repeatedly and I would think it was brilliant. If you already enjoy System of a Down then I expect you either have the album or are planning on getting it. I say good for you. If you haven't heard System of A Down check them out. They are truly a dying breed in the music industry since they create original music. Ask a music insider who they sound like and their mind will explode trying to find an answer for you. Not to mention the political content that drives most of the songs. These boys have a conscience. If you have heard S.O.A.D. (It's the cool new way to say System of a Down.) and don't like them, well I suggest you kill yourself now. You obviously have no hope in life. Stop taking precious space and oxygen away from people who deserve it more than you.

The next segment is basically just a Quote of The Day deal. It can be anything I heard someone say, I said, or I read that just made me smile or laugh. Since it's the first day I've decided to go with two entries. The first one I had in mind when I first read it this morning, and the second one is something I just wrote that I found to be hilarious and I wanted to share it with you. So let's get to it shall we?

"What's the difference between chili and Northwestern? It's a trick question actually seeing that they both give you hellacious gas, but Northwestern does not belong in a bowl."
-Joe McCahill

It was found in the comments on the McCahill Family Blog. I have a link to it over there on the right. If you have time check it out. They are a truly unique and hilarious family. The next quote of mine is a response I wrote to a Canadian talking smack about the US Navy.

"Canada's idea of an armed fleet is a pontoon loaded with a 12 pack of Molson Ice."
-Tom Fornelli.

Seriously Canada, watch yourself. I don't know if you noticed but America has a President right now who has absolutely no problem with invading other countries. Keep talkin that smack and he will come after you. We do need space after all as things are getting rather crowded here. Plus let's face it, it would barely take us a week before we had absolute control of your country. Don't take this as my own personal American bravado, but as a friendly (Canada has a lot of hot chicks. I like hot chicks.) warning. I don't want it to happen, ok I do a little, but it could. Watch yourselves.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,
Tom

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

not only is SOAD a remarkable band but they are the champions of a cause important to me: trying to force international recognition of the 1915 genocide of 1.5 million armenians by the turks. to this day, the turks not only deny it happened but systemtically eviscerate anyone who offers up proof otherwise. the US has its own reason for avoiding the issue - using it as leverage in their continuing negotiations with Turkey. ("Give us a place to put our airbase and we'll shut down that pesky genocide vote in the House").

serj tankian is heroic in his efforts to fight back. just one example from only a few weeks ago:
http://www.anca.org/press_releases/press_releases.php?prid=820

so, great music and great big armenian-american balls to take on the turkish government and dennis hastert. love those guys.

oh yeah, one other thing? saw your friends' pics. oh my gawd, marty is hawt!

Anonymous said...

oh yeah, and those women in the grocery aisle yesterday? They took the red eye to LA and were hanging in the spice aisle at MY grocery store.

How did I know they weren't from here?

First big hint: they were in the spice aisle and weren't Mexican (no self-respecting Malibuite would be caught dead actually buying ingredients much less COOKING - I don't respect myself, in case you were gonna ask).

And the clinchers: they weren't tan. Or anorexic.

Get your fat asses back to Chicago, bitches!

Curious Person (who isn't Joe himself) said...

Hey lost in Malibu, are you sure you don't think that it was Joe who was the hot one?

Anonymous said...

curious person (who isn't joe himself),

if you happen to see him, tell joe to post a pic of shaq. that might turn the tide in his favor.

until then, it's marty all the way...