The Bitch is Back

(This is a repost from my sports blog. The Way I See It)

I don't know if any of you noticed yesterday, I know I didn't until I took my lunch at work, but Jay Mariotti is back writing for the Chicago Sun-Times.

I'll give everyone a minute to punch something, or wash the vomit out of their mouth.

Ready yet?

It was Mariotti's first column since June 26th after taking a month long "vacation." Even though the Sun-Times was calling it a vacation the entire time, Mariotti still showed up to work everyday to be on ESPN's Around the Horn. Generally when I'm on vacation-which is 24/7-I don't do anything but be on vacation.

So I was hoping that maybe, just maybe, the Sun-Times realized it already had enough columnists who know how to write and they finally rid themselves and our wonderful city of this mega douchebag.

I was wrong.

Dead wrong.

Instead they re-signed Mariotti to a three year extension. So we will get to read his wonderful insights of the Chicago sports world four times a week!

I'll give you all another minute to break something and wash the vomit taste from your mouths.

Still there could be some good to come out of this. It may actually help the White Sox get to the playoffs and possibly win another World Series championship.

Stay with me on this one.

Even though I hate the fact that Jay still has a job, it was good to see him back. Why, in his very first column he made sure he went back to his old "rip the White Sox" schtick. Let's look at some excerpts from his first column.

"Clearly, this is no time for a stubborn streak on the trophy side of town, no time for a brash and successful dealmaker(Sox GM KenWilliams) to go limp at the trade deadline. I like him as Fast Kenny. I like him less as a Ken Doll."

Gee Jay, when writing things about Ken Williams going limp and then talking about Ken dolls, I have no idea how Ozzie ever got the idea you were gay.

"It's stunning that Williams, despite his weekend pledge of allegiance to his current roster, didn't respond to the aggressive work of the New York Yankees with his own buzzer-beating maneuver. Whether it's Brian Cashman working in the spirit of George Steinbrenner or, more likely, Steinbrenner pushing all the buttons from the Boss Cave, the Yankees assumed the role as American League favorites by adding Bobby Abreu to an explosive batting order, Cory Lidle to the shaky end of a rotation and Craig Wilson to the bench."

I don't know if you've ever been a GM or not Jay, but generally you don't want to go out and make a move just because another team did. Especially when that team isn't in your division. If George Steinbrenner jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge would you do it too Jay? (Quick, somebody push Steinbrenner off the bridge.) Nevermind the fact that the White Sox have a right fielder far superior to Abreu (Jermaine Dye) already on the roster, six starting pitchers better than Cory Lidle (Yes, even Javier Vazquez cuz at least he'll get you 5 dominant innings before blowing up), and 3 Craig Wilsons on the bench in Rob Mackowiak, Ross Gload, and Alex Cintron.

"Why would he offer Scott Podsednik in (the Alfonso Soriano deal), as reported, but refuse to part with Brandon McCarthy? If the kid pitcher is so precious, why not yank Vazquez and put him in the rotation right now?"

Cuz Soriano can't pitch Jay, but he can play left field in place of Podsednik and take over the lead off spot. Also you don't yank Vazquez before the trade deadline cuz it diminishes his value while you are trying to trade him. Now that the deadline has passed, look for the Sox to give Vazquez another chance before replacing him with McCarthy.

"This year, they're struggling to win a wild-card race that apparently will involve at least three teams -- Twins, Yankees and Red Sox -- that are on par with the Sox, if not superior."

But Jay, the Red Sox and Twins didn't get Soriano either! So based on what you said two paragraphs ago they have no shot of making the postseason either!! Also now that Jason Varitek is out for about 2 months, I don't think we'll have to worry too much about the Red Sox. Also, the Twins played .800 baseball for over a month. At some point reality has to catch up to them cuz, I don't know if you noticed in all your years of watching baseball Jay, but teams can't play .800 for 4 months.

So how is Jay's return going to help the White Sox?

We're all well aware of the fact that the White Sox as an organization can't stand Jay. Whether it was Ozzie calling him a fag, Reinsdorf having his face on his office dartboard, Ken Williams keeping that same picture in his office urinal, or play-by-play man Hawk Harrelson calling him a "hieniebird" (pronounced hi-knee-bird I'm not actually sure of the spelling seeing how I didn't invent it.) during the game. For those who don't know what a hieniebird is, I'll give you Harrelson's definition.

"A hieniebird is a bird that spends all it's time flying in concentric circles, until one day it flies up it's own ass and POOF! disappears forever."

So what's that got to do with the White Sox playing well?

Well, in 2005 there was this same kind of animosity between the Sox and Mariotti, it just never became as public cuz Ozzie never said anything about it. Everyday though Mariotti would talk about how the Sox were gonna blow their run for one reason or another. Whether it was cuz Ken Williams didn't get Ken Griffey Jr., or Ozzie said something. Well the Sox went on to win the World Series I think partly just so Mariotti would have to write his "I knew it all along!" column.

2006 has been very much the same. Until June 26th with Mariotti still writing his column the White Sox were 23 games over .500 at 49-26, just 2 games behind the Detroit Tigers.

While Mariotti was on "vacation" the White Sox played 29 games, going 13-16 and losing 5.5 games on the Tigers. The pitching was awful, especially Mark Buehrle who went 0-5 with an 11.83ERA in Mariotti's absence.

Yesterday upon hearing of Jay's return, Mark went out and threw 6 innings giving up only 4 hits and 2 runs.

This can't just be a coincedence people!

I know White Sox fans, and Chicago sports fans in general, must be torn on this issue. On one hand none of us wants to read Mariotti or see that smug looking face everytime they open the newspaper, but on the other we'd like to see the White Sox win again.

The solution is simple though, just cuz he's writing doesn't mean WE have to read it. Just so long as the White Sox are everything will be fine and we can all just kick back and enjoy the ride.

See you in October Jay!