Many Happy Returns

So I have been playing quite a bit of poker lately. I played some $2/$4 Stud last night, and some $3/$6 Omaha Hi Lo. The money I lost at Omaha I made back at Stud.

PostModernBoy was at my Stud table, and Trey was at my Omaha table so if either of you were trying to talk to me, please remember I have no chat. It's not that I hate you.

I played some more $3/$6 Omaha Hi Lo this afternoon, and I'm glad I did. There was a guy just giving money away at the table.

Full Tilt Poker Game #627272761: Table Airport - $3/$6 - Limit Omaha Hi/Lo - 12:55:21 ET - 2006/05/10
Seat 1: datdurtyone ($162)
Seat 3: Mikeh77 ($117)
Seat 4: ryty ($49)
Seat 5: iknowmoses ($153)
Seat 6: acduo ($40)
Seat 7: max258 ($71.50)
Seat 8: TomFornelli ($55.50)
Seat 9: Micc0 ($59)
Micc0 posts the small blind of $1.50
datdurtyone posts the big blind of $3
The button is in seat #8
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to TomFornelli [4c 2c 7c 3h]
Mikeh77 folds
ryty raises to $6
iknowmoses folds
acduo folds
max258 folds
TomFornelli calls $6
Micc0 folds
datdurtyone raises to $9
ryty calls $3
TomFornelli calls $3
*** FLOP *** [9s 2d Ad]
datdurtyone bets $3
ryty calls $3
TomFornelli calls $3
*** TURN *** [9s 2d Ad] [7h]
datdurtyone bets $6
ryty calls $6
TomFornelli calls $6
*** RIVER *** [9s 2d Ad 7h] [5c]
datdurtyone checks
ryty checks
TomFornelli bets $6
datdurtyone calls $6
ryty folds
*** SHOW DOWN ***
TomFornelli shows [4c 2c 7c 3h] (a straight, Five high)
*** SHOW DOWN ***
(5,4,3,2,A)
datdurtyone mucks
TomFornelli wins the high pot ($32.50) with a straight, Five high
TomFornelli wins the low pot ($32) with 5,4,3,2,A
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $67.50 Rake $3
Board: [9s 2d Ad 7h 5c]

Full Tilt Poker Game #627318911: Table Airport - $3/$6 - Limit Omaha Hi/Lo - 13:25:19 ET - 2006/05/10
Seat 1: datdurtyone ($39.50)
Seat 2: AAYellowCab ($108)
Seat 3: Gebhardt80 ($95.50)
Seat 4: Micc0 ($45)
Seat 5: iknowmoses ($163.50)
Seat 6: hester777 ($744)
Seat 7: max258 ($171)
Seat 8: TomFornelli ($45.50)
max258 has 5 seconds left to act
max258 posts the small blind of $1.50
TomFornelli posts the big blind of $3
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to TomFornelli [Th Qs Kc 2h]
datdurtyone raises to $6
AAYellowCab calls $6
Gebhardt80 folds
Micc0 folds
iknowmoses folds
hester777 folds
max258 calls $4.50
TomFornelli calls $3
*** FLOP *** [8h 9h 5s]
max258 checks
TomFornelli checks
datdurtyone bets $3
AAYellowCab calls $3
max258 calls $3
TomFornelli calls $3
*** TURN *** [8h 9h 5s] [Jc]
max258 checks
TomFornelli checks
datdurtyone bets $6
AAYellowCab folds
Violetta sits down
Violetta adds $60
max258 calls $6
TomFornelli raises to $12
datdurtyone calls $6
Violetta adds $240
max258 calls $6
*** RIVER *** [8h 9h 5s Jc] [Tc]
max258 checks
TomFornelli bets $6
datdurtyone raises to $12
max258 folds
TomFornelli raises to $18
datdurtyone raises to $18.50, and is all in
TomFornelli calls $0.50
*** SHOW DOWN ***
datdurtyone shows [Ad 4d Qc 8c] (a straight, Queen high)
TomFornelli shows [Th Qs Kc 2h] (a straight, King high)
TomFornelli wins the pot ($106) with a straight, King high

As you can see he was helpful.

I also won a $10 Sit and go for $45, so it was a pretty productive afternoon.

I finally talked to The Donna the other day.

How I miss that woman. We talked about everything ranging from stair sex to gay hippies. (Think the guy in my last post.)

Unfortunately she lives in Minneapolis now. I guess she needed to find a place to match her accent eh?

The good news is she agreed to be my date to my sisters wedding. Whenever the hell that is.

(Note to self:Ask your sister when her wedding date is.)

The White Sox won again last night.

That's what they do. The final score was 9-1.

Did you know that the Cubs haven't even scored 9 runs in their last 5 games combined? Ok so that wasn't necessary. Seriously what the Cubs offense is going through right now is absolutely atrocious. It's hard to watch, so I've stopped trying.

What they did do yesterday, or at least Juan Pierre anyway, stole away #714 from Bonds last night. Of course that play was the only celebrating any of the Cubs did yesterday, or over their last 8 games for that matter. Christ they've lost 8 in a row and 9 of 10.

The Cubs suck.

And I'm not saying that as a Sox fan would to a Cubs fan, or with any kind of malice.

I'm saying it as fact.

Of course on the South Side things just keep on keepin on. Jose Contreras was put on the DL, so that sucks, but then Freddy Garcia comes out and reminds us all that it's not the end of the world. He went 8 innings without giving up an earned run, and is now 5-1 on the season.

Of course as in any White Sox game Jim Thome homered again. He has 14 on the year already, in 31 games. That puts him on pace to hit 73. Also it's not hot out yet, and in the summer US Cellular plays about 10 feet smaller, so God knows what he's capable of doing in this park.

Joe Crede also went deep, his 7th of the year.

There's nothing better than an offense that get you 6 runs a game, and a pitching staff that only gives up 2.

I've found something else to add to my Why I Wish I Lived In China list.

Britney did it again.

I'm sorry but certain people should not be allowed to procreate. Here's a Top 5.

1. Paris Hilton
2. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline
3. Dick Cheney
4. Rosie O'Donnell
5. Tom Cruise

In the last few weeks 2 of the the Axis of Breeding Evil have created new "humans." I fear dark times loom on the horizon for this country.

Of course those are mushroom cloud presents from Iran, but still.......

Another example of things that can happen when people like those listed above procreate?

Sure. Here ya go.

PICTURE OF THE DAY

Beaches, Bitches, Babies and Beer.

SONG OF THE DAY

Korn - Freak On A Leash

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Tom

Whaddya Think?

Silvio says this is me in 2 years.



I say he's giving me too much credit.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,
Tom

Case of the Mondays

Ah Monday. One of the most hated days by Americans cuz it's generally the first day of the work week. It makes me think of the line from Office Space,

"Looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays!"

I don't much relate to that sensation. Monday is generally my day off. Tuesday is my Monday.

Isn't this all supremely entertaining? Anyway I spend my Monday's generally doing all the stuff I need to get done for the upcoming week, and that I didn't get done over the weekend.

As far as what I didn't get done over the weekend, that means everything. I had to work from 4-midnight both Friday and Saturday nights, followed by a quick turnaround in which I had to be back at work at 8AM on Sunday.

Talk about a way to mess up somebody's social life. Have them work late Friday and Saturday, then make em get up with like 3 hours sleep for Sunday. As a result I spent most of Sunday evening napping in my chair while the NBA playoffs aired in the background.

So I needed something to do to kill time between loads of laundry, so I decided I would play some poker today. I don't play very often at all anymore, but today I just had the itch. So after playing for about 5 hours in a series of sit and go's and tournaments I made $7!!! I even have a graph to prove it.

$7 in cold hard electronic cash.

Also I've done something new while playing. I know a lot of people who read my blog here are people I met through Full Tilt Forum. Well you all probably have noticed that I never post there anymore, and I never even really read the forum.

It's not that I don't like you guys, it's just that I don't want poker to consume so much of my time like it was for awhile. So what I have done is I've taken out the social aspect of my game entirely. I don't go to the forum, and I have all chat turned off while I play at the tables. So if you've been at my table and said hi, or were railbirding me, and I never responded don't take it personally. I'm not talking to anybody.

I've found it to be a very helpful change to my game. See that $7 I won? Well the proof is in the pudding isn't it?

That's some $7 pudding too, so you know it tastes good.

The White Sox won yesterday against Kansas City. Bet you'll never guess who got the game winning hit.

That's right.

Joey Clutch aka Joe Crede.

The Royals intentionally walked Konerko to get to Joe and I laughed in their faces. Paulie was like 2-10 in the series and they walk him to get to Joey Clutch.

Idiots.

I know that people who don't watch the White Sox on a regular basis probably don't realize that Joe Crede is pretty close to a 100% success rate at the plate with the game on the line.

The Royals have no excuse though. It was Crede on Friday night after all who hit a grand slam off of Elmer Dessens.

Guess who they had pitching Sunday to face Crede?

Elmer Dessens.

So let's see. You have one of the most clutch hitters in the game on deck, and you have the guy who gave up a grand slam to him 2 days ago walk a struggling hitter to get to him.

Guess we know why the Royals are 7-22.

Also I love Joe Crede, I wouldn't have his jersey if I didn't, and so do Sox fans. Sox TV announcer Hawk Harrelson though I do believe is madly in love with the man. It gets kinda creepy listening to Hawk talk about Joe during a game. On any routine play he acts like Joe Crede just saved the world from the brink of destruction all while curing cancer.

Hawk, you're right, he IS awesome, but you don't have to tell us that everytime he ties his shoes.

"Did you see the double knot he has there? He's awesome."

In other NOT GOOD White Sox news word is that Jose Contreras is about to go on the disabled list. He tweaked his lower back in his bullpen session today.

It's never NEVER good when your Ace gets hurt. See Mark Prior, Kerry Wood. Still I'm not losing it over this development for 4 reasons:

1. Mark Buehrle
2. Javier Vazquez
3. Freddy Garcia
4. Jon Garland

We're gonna be bringin up a knuckleballer, Charlie Haeger, from AAA Charlotte to start for Jose on Wednesday against the Anaheim Angels. Apparently that knuckleball of his must be good cuz all he's done so far this season in Charlotte is go 3-0 with a 0.68 ERA with 31 strikeouts in 40 innings.

Last but not least when it comes to the Sox, I noticed something funny about the Kansas City Royals lineup Sunday, and I wrote about it on my column. Check it out if ya like.

Picture of the Day

Song of The Day

MC Hammer - 2 Legit 2 Quit

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Tom

Cinco de Mayo

Well for the second time this week I get to be Mexican for a day. On Monday I didn't go to work, and today I have to go to work.

Wait that sucks.

Why the hell couldn't the protest have included making the Mexican Independence Day a National American holiday? You wanna make progress in this country for the Mexican people that's how you do it. Give whitey another day off work.

Scholars argue over what exactly the phrase "Cinco de Mayo" means, but I think it's "Hold the mayo."

Cinco de Mayo actually reminds me of a fun story from high school. It was also on May 5th that year, and after school Silvio had an idea. We went driving through Stone Park (a suburb with a large Mexican population) in his Buick Century with USA painted on the rear windshield in red white and blue, while flying an American flag out of the window. It was fun and scary all at the same time. We didn't do it as a protest or anything, we just did it cuz it sounded funny when he thought of it.

My good friend Panger is going under the knife today for some shoulder surgery. She's got some tears in her rotator cuff that she needs to get fixed. She'll be ok after some long rehab, but the poor girl will never throw in the Majors again.

In honor of her though on this special Friday, I will once again do the Random Friday 10. If you aren't sure what that is go here. I don't feel like explaining it again.

1. Pac Bell-(Hed)pe
2. Happens All The Time-Cold
3. Encore-Jay Z
4. Attack-System of a Down
5. I Wish I Knew What I Know Now-Mark Mothersbaugh
6. Under My Umbrella-Incubus
7. Hating-Korn
8. Under the Bridge-Red Hot Chili Peppers
9. Forty Six and Two-Tool
10. 5th Symphony 1st Movement-Beethoven

Favorite Song-Pac Bell. At the time I first heard it lets just say it was good for my soul.

Least Favorite Song-Happens all the time. I just don't like Cold's new album that much. Kinda cookie cutter.

Favorite Album-Morningview-Incubus

The Bulls lost last night.

Before the series started I said Heat in 6, so at least I got that part right. Doesn't make it any better though.

The Bulls have a good young team, but Miami has the better team. If you can stop Shaq, you get hurt by Wade, stop Wade, hurt by Shaq. Stop both and Antoine Walker, James Posey, and Jason Williams rain three pointers all night.

The biggest difference from games 5+6 compared to the first 4 was that Miami actually started playing defense. They hadn't been doing that.

On the plus side there is more excitement in this city right now about the NBA and the Bulls than I have seen or heard in a LONG time. So that's a good thing. Especially when you consider what the Bulls have this offseason with the 2 first round picks, and a lot of cap space. Throw that in with a growing young nucleus and you have to think we'll be back in it again next season.

Also yesterday the White Sox won again, and became the first team in the majors to 20 wins. They were also the first team to 20 last year, and 30, 40, 50 , 60, 70, 80, and the Cardinals beat us to 90.

Jose Contreras has won 13 straight starts and HASN'T LOST SINCE LAST AUGUST. He was the pitcher of the month in September 2005 and April 2006. If they had one he'd have won it for October too.

Best pitcher in baseball right now. Hands down. Give him the Cy Young already.

Speaking of the White Sox, guess what I got in the mail yesterday.

Ain't it purty? Of course Joe Crede celebrated me getting the jersey yesterday making a circus catch in foul territory during the White Sox win.

There are some new photos from the Army of Darkness Barcrawl posted over on the McCahill's Blog. Go on over there and check em out if you like. I'm only in one of them, and only in the background.

Cameras are intimidated by my rugged good looks.

Also from the Barcrawl we have another item. Much thanks to Kevin and Joseph for sending this to me simultaneously.

The student paper at the U. of Illinois is the Daily Illini, and it features a police blotter. Interesting story in the blotter this week.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Tom Angelini.
In other news I got an answer to my question about the Dog Whisperer from Wednesday's South Park. Apparently he is a real person, and it is a real show. I know this cuz you have to be a real person to get sued. Well I think so anyway, our legal system gets pretty stupid sometimes.

I shall now leave you with our Song of the Day. Have a happy Cinco de Mayo, and a good weekend. I'll be working all through mine.

Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Tom

It's Spelled Dwayne You Jackass

Holy crap what a White Sox game last night.

First Joey Clutch comes through like he always does. He makes a Brooksian catch in the second inning, and then comes up in the 7th down 1-0 with the bases juiced facing fireballer Rafeal Soriano.

First pitch he sees......gone. Grand Slam.

GG Seattle, but not really. The Mariners actually take the lead back in the 8th inning, 5-4. Then for the second time this season, with Seattle closer "Everyday" Eddie Guardado on the mound, down one run, with two outs the Sox hit a game tying home run.

Pablo Ozuna comes up pinch hitting for Rob Mackowiak.

First pitch he sees.......gone. Tie ball game. The best part?

It's Ozuna's first CAREER home run(335 career at bats), and when he hit it, he knew it.

So it was on to extra innings and Pablo's night still wasn't over. Again there were 2 outs in the 11th inning. For some reason the Mariners outfielders were playing on the warning tracks, and Ozuna hit a little ground ball up the middle that got through. Well the outfielders were playing so deep that Ozuna got a double out of it.

The Mariners didn't learn their lesson though. The outfielders went back out to the warning track and watched as a bloop pop up off the bat of Juan Uribe dropped about 8 feet in front of them, Ozuna scored.

Now GG Seattle. If the outfielders were playing normal depth, inning over onto the 12th. Thank God for bad managers.

The only bad part of the game was that Freddy Garcia pitched a gem, going 7+ with 1 run and 3 hits, and got no credit for it.

Watched the new South Park this morning. Is that Dog Whisperer thing an actual show? TV is so fucking retarded these days, I'm embarassed to admit I watch it.

I do though, but mostly sports. Like right now I'm watching the Tigers/Angels game. (The MLB Extra Innings package owns.)

Anyway, back to South Park. It was a good episode, but I still feel like something is missing when I watch the new episodes since the Mohammed fiasco. The notion that the best way to raise a child right is to treat them like a dog is funny, cuz it's kinda true.

What's with all the one character episodss lately though? That's the biggest clue I get about the direction of the show. The last few episodes have revolved around one central character and haven't included others. When South Park is at it's best it's got everyone involved and has multiple story lines. In the last 2 episodes I think Stan, Kyle, and Kenny have 5 lines combined.

Though even with all this it's still the best show on television. Of course that's not really saying much. Oooh look theres a new episode of Ice Fishing with Former Child Stars coming on! Last week there was some drama between Gary Coleman and Alfonso Ribiero when GC (That's what the cool kids call him) accused Alfonso of "bogarting all the good holes."

I hope they work through this. Those two are precious together.

Speaking of television, since I do watch it I'll list the shows that I actually do watch. (Non-sports division)

• South Park-Bestest show of all time. That used to be the Simpsons crown, but well, sucking for like 6 years killed that.
• The Boondocks-Absolutely hilarious. Joining South Park as one of the edgiest, most un-PC shows out there.
• The Sopranos-It's the Sopranos. I'm Italian. Don't listen to what other Italians tell you when they get all huffy about the "negative stereotype" of all Italians being mobsters. We are all in the mob. So don't fuck with us.
• The Daily Show-The only news show I trust is the fake news show.
• The Colbert Report-See above.
• My Name is Earl-When I first heard the premise of this show I was figured it would suck. Then a bunch of people said it was good. For the most part they're right.
• The Office-Not as good as the BBC version, but it's still pretty damn funny. Steve Carell is great. Funny how the Daily Show rules the world of TV now. Stewart, Colbert, Carell.
• Family Guy-I liked it a lot better before they brought it back to be honest. The new episodes seem to be trying to hard to be ridiculous. I still watch it though.

Something I learned this weekend in Urbana:Kevin snores like a dying giraffe with a midget caught in it's throat. (It's not dying cuz it's choking either. It's dying of smugness.)

Picture of the Day

Damn women drivers

The Bulls have a game tonight. If they lose the season is over. Of course that means they'll win. Whether or not they win Game 7 in Miami I don't know. It's funny how NBA officials tend to always give calls to the home teams.

Also in clarification for what I said about Heat guard, and Chicago native Dwyane Wade yesterday. I have no doubt when he fell at first he was injured. When he came back out though he was fine, and just pretending to be hurt. I mean he'd run around, spin, jump and do everything on the offensive side just fine..........and then limp back grimacing in pain on defense.

GFY Wade. I used to respect you.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Tom

Fair Warning

While the weekend in Urbana was a lot of fun, and a welcome change of pace, returning home has brought life's ugly head back.

I'm in full blown Dickhead Mode.

I'm not really sure what caused it. I could blame work, but really I was in Dickhead Mode before I went to work yesterday. Being there only provided more reasons to be in it. I was absolutely lost there last night. I hadn't been there in about a week, and there were some changes made while I was gone that nobody filled me in on, so I had to do a lot of learning on the fly.

I just get into these moods sometimes, as I'm sure a lot of us do, where I want absolutely nothing to do with anybody. When I do get this way it's really best that I don't socialize with people. All that happens is I find anything to piss me off, and I use it. For example on Friday night in Urbana Ted said something bout the fairweather fans at US Cellular Field, and I got pissed.

No real reason to. Ted was just making a smart ass remark like Ted always does. For some reason though I had to treat it like he was attacking me personally, and I start arguing back. It's stupid and I even apologized for it immediately after.

Also if I'm not answering or returning your phone calls, now you know why. (Though Donna, you might be more successful if you weren't calling me at 3AM on a Thursday.) I will, but if it's really important just leave a message.

Other than that the only 2 things I have left to say are:

1. Stephen Colbert has really big balls
2. Dwyane Wade is a fucking punk. He was NOT hurt in game 5 of the Heat/Bulls series last night. The more I watch him the more convinced I become that he's completely full of shit. You don't injure your hip like he claimed to do last night and then come back and have that kinda mobility and movement. It's all just more fuel for those damn "Fall down 7 times, stand up 8" commercials he does. He's fallen in love with his own persona.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Tom