Fantasy Baseball

Well tonight was the draft for the fantasy baseball league I started for members of Full Tilt Forum. The league's homepage can be found here: FTF Fantasy Baseball.

Here is the team I drafted, I feel pretty good about my draft. I had the 6th pick which put me in the middle each round, and that's generally a good pick to have.

Starting Lineup

• C Javy Lopez-Baltimore Orioles
• 1B Derrek Lee-Chicago Cubs (If I had to have at a Cub on my team, he's the one I want)
• 2B Robinson Cano-New York Yankees
• 3B Adrian Beltre-Seattle Mariners
• SS Bill Hall-Milwaukee Brewers
• OF Bobby Abreu-Philadelphia Phillies
• OF Grady Sizemore-Cleveland Indians
• OF Hideki Matsui-New York Yankees
• Util Jim Edmonds-St. Louis Cardinals

Bench

• OF David Dellucci-Texas Rangers
• OF Alex Rios-Toronto Blue Jays
• 1B Prince Fielder-Milwaukee Brewers
• 3B Joe Crede-Chicago White Sox

Starting Pitchers

• Mark Buehrle-Chicago White Sox
• Barry Zito-Oakland Athletics
• Zack Duke-Pittsburgh Pirates
• Javier Vazquez-Chicago White Sox
• Mike Mussina-New York Yankees

Bullpen

• Scot Shields-Anaheim Angels
• Jonathon Papelbon-Boston Red Sox
• Brad Lidge-Houston Astros

Good luck me.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Tom

Pulp Fiction Meets Jurassic Park

Get your tickets now!!!!!!

Snakes on a Plane

Jump Around!

Ok, well I don't know what everybody's plans are this weekend but if you're in the Chicago area Saturday night I'm officially inviting you to a party with the new House of Pain.

Diamonds are a girl's best friend


Come join Kevin, Brian, and Marty as they christen their new Super Manly and Cool Bachelor Pad of The Future with a wee get together. There will be beer. For more info, go here. If somebody asks you who the hell you are just tell them The Leemer sent you.

LINKS OF INTEREST

• Well thanks to all the free press it recieved (I'm still waiting for my check) in the last week its not surprising but more people tuned into South Park this week to see Chef die than ever.
• Maybe this is why the Catholic Church doesn't allow it's Priests to marry. Murderous wives?......molesting small children?.....murderous wives?.....molesting small children? I'll take Screw em All(no I don't mean the small children) for $800 Alex.
• Gotta love a country in which you can send thousands of kids to their deaths, but you kick one cat........
• Say your young child runs away from home one day, where's the first place you look? 1,000 miles away, or down the street? SHE WAS TWO BLOCKS AWAY THE ENTIRE TIME!!!!!! How bad could they have wanted her back?
• Well we're talking religion again so somebody must be dying. Islam? Christianity? I'll take Screw em All for $1000 Alex. Not to get too deep into it but when will mankind learn that religion is the main thing holding us back?
• Oh those crazy Russians. Even when they aren't Commies they're still a pain in the ass.
• Also since I think Jay Leno is absolutely brilliant, (outright lie)I just wanted to post this one cuz the headline made me laugh. Pagan poised for role on big league roster

The World In Picture Form

Well the weekend is over and it's back to our regularly scheduled life. Hope everybody had a good St. Patrick's Day. I was in heaven with my beer and my college basketball. Of course I spent the majority of my weekend at work.

So really between work, college basketball, and beer not much happened this weekend. I saw the newest episode of the Sopranos Sunday. What a very odd episode. Seeing Tony as anybody but the Tony Soprano mob boss was weird. Although the scene in which he was slapped by the monk killed me.

I really hope the coma doesn't last long, cuz the episode seemed disjointed. Whether that was the intent or not, it still doesn't work that well. I mean the episode was only like 45 minutes long, but watching it felt like 90 minutes. At least if the coma does last the show better move on to focusing on the power struggle that is no doubt about to ensue. That's where all the good stuff will be. I wonder if A.J. will really kill Junior. All I do know is that when he was talking to his dad in the hospital and said he would, I started to crack up. AJ thought he was Michael Corleone all of a sudden. Then 5 minutes later he's telling his mother he failed out of college. The kid gets practically no air time in the show, but whenever he does it's gold. For a few reasons really

1. Robert Iler is really just not a very good actor, which leads to the unintentional comedy moments.
2. His character is just a royal fuck up.

Imagine if AJ ran the family.

In other happenings I've seen quite a few movies over the last few weeks. Unfortunately I don't feel like rippin off paragraph upon paragraph of reviews. So what I'm going to do is just give quick little recaps of what I thought.

1. Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle- This was one of those movies that the second I saw a commercial for it I knew I had to see it. Well I finally did last week. In a word, fantastic. I loved the entire thing. Neil Patrick Harris' role playing himself was easily one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. How he didn't win an Oscar, or even get nominated for one is simple one of the greatest crimes in American history. Also it was really nice to see Asians in a movie(John Cho and Kal Penn) that were more like the Asians I know. They aren't all just math nerds and terrorists. They are degenerate, lazy potheads too. Just like their American counterparts. I don't want to expose anybody here on my blog, but I have friends who are exactly like those two. That and they still got A's in school all the time. God damn Asians. Apparently this is supposed to be the first of a trilogy, with the next stop being Amsterdam. That movie can't get here quick enough, even though I know that in some way it will only ruin the entire thing. I don't care though. GRADE=A+
2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind- This movie was a lot like Sunday's Sopranos. Disjointed. It wasn't a bad movie at all, and I kinda liked the premise. I also liked Kristen Dunst dancing around in a tank top and panties bouncing on a bed. The movie though was just too back and forth between present, and past for me to ever develop a "connection" to it. I may have to watch it again at some point, it might help. Pry not. GRADE=C+
3. Through the Fire-This was an ESPN documentary on current Portland Trailblazers point guard Sebastian Telfair. It followed him around during his senior year of high school in the project of Coney Island in New York. Telfair had long been a legend on the courts in Coney Island as he does have an amazing ability when it comes to basketball. The part of this documentary that stood out to me was how important basketball is to the African American culture, and in the community. It's really pretty simple. The philosophy is that being a good basketball player is the only way out. I mean it's not only his family that seems to depend on him. It's as if the entire community is counting on him. The scene in which he is drafted is particularly powerful. If anyone gets a chance to see this I recommend it to you. GRADE=B
4. The Village-I just saw this on cable the other night. I generally like M. Night Shyamalammadingdong's movies, but this one wasn't very good. Opie's daughter (Bryce Dallas Howard) is good in it, but the rest of it just doesn't work. I mean in movies like Signs and The Sixth Sense at least the plots made sense. They also scared you a little. In this movie the plot is stupid, and you're never once scared. If you haven't seen it, I'm about to ruin it for you. There's a village in the middle of the woods. It's the 1800's, and nobody in the village can leave cuz there are creatures in the surrounding woods that will kill them. There is also no red in the village as the color attracts the creatures. (Red plays a role in every Shyamalan, I think that's how it's spelled, film) Well we then find out that the creatures aren't real at all, but that the town's elders made them up. Why? Cuz the world outside those trees is dangerous. Why? Cuz outside that forest it's 2004. The elders of the village formed it to escape the evils of our modern world. Money, violence, crime. A little utopia in the woods. Well not so joyful when the monsters come. The movie was just dumb, and then the end was the worst part. Watch it if you're extremely bored one night, and there are no good infomercials on. GRADE=D-

I'm gonna finish this entry with some links to some stories that may be interesting to anybody reading this blog.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Tom

Links of Interest

• If you have a video iPod you may want to read this article. THIS is why I'm happy with my regular ass 20GB iPod that doesn't have video. Once these things get too advanced they kill themselves off slowly.
• If you're like me and you enjoy(ed) the show Arrested Development you may wanna read this.
• If you read this blog regularly you'll remember my rant on Isaac Hayes leaving South Park over religious reasons. It was due to an episode called Trapped in a Closet that made fun of Tom Cruise, John Travolta, R. Kelly, and the entire Church of Scientology. Well apparently Tom Cruise himself had the episode pulled last week when it was supposed to re-air. This led to South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker taking out an ad in Variety magazine which said, and I quote, "So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!- Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu." That's just classic. Anyway, what I'm really interested in is how the show will handle the entire situation. Here's a hint.

Happy St. Patricks Day

Happy St. Patty's Day everybody. May the beer, whiskey, and good times all flow freely for you.

Here's a picture of what I actually wore to work today:

Shirt by:Guiness

Hat by:The Raving Irishman

Beer by :Killian's

Beard by: Sleeping Through The Alarm

Well that's all for today, I'm off to watch basketball and get Irish. And remember, you don't have to be Irish to get drunk, but it helps.

Keepin It Real Since 1980,

Tom

Introducing:Prank Messenger

Welcome to a new feature of Keepin It Real Since 1980. I call it Prank Messenger. It's a simple premise. I get a random screen name, and send it ludicrous instant messages, whether on AIM, or Yahoo. Obviously I don't use my actual screen name, I create new ones. Anyway, if I can keep anyone around long enough, and the conversation is funny enough, I will post them here.

So without further ado, I present to you,

PRANK MESSENGER

Starring:Tom Fornelli as John Alexander (Dialogue in Blue)
and introducing
Erica* as The Mark (Dialogue in Red)

*Names have been changed to protect my guilty ass

Hello there

Hi

How are you?

ok

who are you?

my name is John. Are you busy?

kinda

Well I promise I won't be long

I just have a few questions

how did you get my screen name?

oh I have a list of names, it's part of my job

im'ing people is your job?

lol, no silly

I work for GMD.org

?

GMD.org

What's gmd?

Giraffes Must Die

is this a joke?

hardly

you want to kill giraffes?

who is this?

my name is John Alexander, and I work for GMD.org

We're a non profit organization interested in killing giraffes

why!?

they're smug

this is stupid

please, if you don't want to answer my questions, that's one thing

but to call my job stupid is an insult

sorry

it's ok. I'm used to it.

Americans are very uninformed about giraffes

in fact, the only giraffe most are familiar with is Geoffrey Giraffe of Toys R Us fame

I know him

personally?

what?

not important. What IS important is that I spread the word about giraffes

They're evil fuckers

pardon my language

what's so evil about them?

ok, so theyre not evil in the Darth Vader sense, but they don't help much either

thats no reason to kill them

says you

who is this?

i told you, my name is John Alexander

seriously Tony?

no, this is John Alexander

this is not a joke

I don't believe you

well Ms.....mind if I ask your name?

Erica

Well Erica, who in the hell would just start talking to you about killing giraffes?

Tony

Well Tony sounds like a smart guy. I assure you again though, that I'm 100% serious

Well then why do you hate giraffes so much?

I think they're just incredibly smug

why?

Well they're real tall right?

ya

Taller than all the other animals?

ya

so why do they need those antenna things on the top of their heads? Aren't they tall enough already!?

what?

You know!

Their antenna!!! They only have them to make the rest of the animal kingdom feel inadequate!!

lol

this ISN'T funny! Giraffes are destroying the self esteem of the once proud lion

the zebra

even the intelligent elephant

that rhymed!

It sure did, I'm also an incredible poet

do you know any giraffe poems?

I've written a few

tell me one

now?

this is kinda on the spot

please?

ok, I can't resist you Erica

AHEM

There once was a giraffe named Eli

Who didn't know his place

He screamed "I don't wanna die!"

As I shot him in the face

lmao

was it that bad?

no it was great

seriously i loved it

thank you, it will be in my new book, available on our website

it's called Giraffes Must Die-A Collection of Prose in the Spirit of Girafficide

do I get a free copy if I donate?

no, there are no donations Erica

This is about your support, but not financial

then how?

Would you kill a giraffe?

No!

Are you sure?

pretty

Yes I am

your what?

Pretty

Well...handsome

ok

Don't you think?

I can't see you

Erica

yes?

I think its safe to say I've fallen in love with you

lol

your insane

I am. I'm crazy in love with you

Like Beyonce with Jay Z

Let me be your Jigga Man

lol

Erica, forget the giraffes, run away with me!

where?

to Africa, we'll run with the cheetahs!!

I have work in the morning

ditch it!

I can't I have a presentation I have to do.

How about Friday?

sure, where do you live?

Chicago

I'm in Seattle. I don't think this will work.

Damn you cruelest of fates

I have to go now John, it's been fun

ok Erica but before you go...

?

I love you

I love you too. Night.

FIN